JOHNMICHAEL SIMON POETRY

There’s an epidemic spreading around in my home
an acquired mechanical deficiency syndrome
an illness undefined by all the known sciences
that strikes without warning at healthy appliances
and I, gallant medic with testers and things
struggle vainly to heal ailing motors and springs
all pre-programmed for premature superannuation
or self destruction after guarantee expiration

 

First struck was the fridge whose heart’s gentle beat
only yesterday hummed with a pulse strong and sweet
last night without even a lurch or a beep
it passed away peacefully in its sleep
causing three months of frozen meals to unfreeze
and in a watery chorus beg ‘eat us now please’

 

My computer that had always performed so reliably
put on a blank face that said undeniably
that due to a virus or some non-system fault
it was staying in bed today by default
while the bathtub whose warmth I sought for consolation
coughed up brown water to increase my frustration

 

My car wouldn’t start, the engine just wheezed
my bike’s tires were flat and squelched when I squeezed
and when I tried to prepare a nice cup of tea
the kettle just spluttered and shorted on me

 

There must be a reason why all’s so amiss
but try as I can I can’t think what it is
but since its December I would venture a guess
that winter’s arrival is the cause of this mess
and like me, my possessions are just getting old
and don’t function so well in the rain and the cold.