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Eine Kleine Hiatus Hernia

trumpets announce trouble

trombones tremble

there’s a hole in a pipe in my stomach

and I can’t plug it up with my finger

now I’m all leaking out

into sharps, flats, arpeggios

richard strauss, hoffnung,

reveille, clockwork musicals



I’ve got gas

kettle drum brewing

budweiser, bubblemania, bierfest

it’s like trying to play the flight

of the bumblebee on a tuba

my doctor prescribed warm baths

bottle brushes, fruit salts

I can’t get it right

the notes are written upside down

and my metronome’s got Alzheimer’s


In a little while I’m going

to take off: jet propulsion

squeaky balloon, bathroom pilot,

crop duster hanging on for life

I’m on a bombing raid,

watch out cockroaches

the day of retribution is on hand


I’m a symphonic variation

of a sewage recycling plant

I’m a snare drum slowing to tinnitus

hallelujah I’m saved

clean as a piccolo

a perfect seaplane



let’s celebrate: pizzas for

everyone, burgers, fries

pickles, mayo


could we take that again

from line ten?

just the wind section please

one and two and…

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© Johnmichael Simon



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